*leave me alone, i'm a twenty something*

the past few weeks have seen me strangely on edge. i haven't been able to put a finger down onto any particular point that resulted in this but it has left me restless and unable to focus. blessedly i haven't had any key deadlines or important projects on at work so it hasn't gotten me into any trouble.

however, i have had heaps of things to do on the personal front - moving house, furnishing it, planning my family's bangkok trip during cny, planning my trip to MEL in Jan and back home in Feb......on top of that, i've been feeling fat and unhealthy, and definitely not on the good end of a beauty regime (i do not like looking at the mirror recently). the latest "excitement" was this burning smell from the car which i ignored for 2 full days before sending it for a check up at the mechanic. turns out, oil was leaking all over the exhaust and i was "lucky" the car didn't catch fire as i kept on driving it (thank God for protection). it cost me a cool $400 though. sigh. 

the stress of having to spend $$ and to search for furniture for the new pl is something entirely new for me. even worse was having to get electricity, gas and internet connection hooked up at the new unit. these definitely got me whinging about how i'd rather leave such adult things for my mum to do - i don't wanna grow up !!

it's a big reality check for me, seeing numerous friends getting married and some of them even having kids. oh gosh... that's one reason why i'm still staying on in australia and not wanting to move back to sg.... being here gives me somewhat a type of freedom which can't be found back home. not having to adhere to the norm of having to get married and then buying some blasted hdb flat and eventually having kids and becoming an auntie. that totally screams not being me (not saying that everyone is like that but seeing some photos of sec sch friends on facebook who seem to become like that doesn't bode well for a lovely crystal ball prediction).

whilst i do like calling back home to keep in touch with my family, it sometimes irks me when the mother starts questioning my plans for the future and reminding me in no uncertain terms that i am not getting any younger. yes mum, i am delusional thinking that i am benjamin button and i need you to give me that dose of reality. for sure it gives me the extra motivation not to become the norm and become like her *gasp*. unfortunately sometimes calling home and speaking to my mum feels like a chore and i breathe a sigh of relief when my sister picks up the phone instead.

i'm not saying that my life is perfectly the way that i want right now, but at least i know that it's all in my own hands (God-given of course). What i need to work on is to stop being lazy and actually doing the things that i want to do and to just stop procrastinating. I love sleeping in on weekends and strolling over to the cafe for a late brunch, or popping over to the beach for a relaxing sun bathing session (the mother would always nag me about doing that *rolls eyes*), or just taking a walk in the park, sitting on the grass looking at the pretty flowers, the occasional night out with the few friends i have here, the occasional (ok not THAT occasional) beer at the pub during lunch or a friday night ....and best of all, staying up in the middle of the night to watch sports and cheer on my team (mummy thinks i shld be in bed by 11 pm)....  sure they aren't the most productive things or highest contributions to society....

But i'm still having fun and I guess that's the key.

Let me lie in. Leave me alone.

I'm a twenty something.